Whew!!

Well, 2 birthdays in one week will wear a girl out! :) I officially have a 3 year old, 4 year old and 6 year old (and soon to be 1 year old!) People in stores look at me like I'm crazy when I'm out with all of them!!! You have no idea how many comments I get about "Are they all yours?" "Wow, you have your hands full"... yes, people, TRUST me, I know I have my hands full. :) Anyways, good birthdays - very low key this year. We just did birthday parties at home, with our family of 6 and cakes. Each kid got 3-4 presents and it was positively WONDERFUL. I know probably next year we'll let them have a party with their friends, etc...but the low key was SOOO nice.

We tried a new church again this week, this one was called "The River". Meets in an elementary school and is only about 150 people - tops. It seems very young and not 'together'... yet, Philip seems to see something about it. I'm still pretty on the fence.. We'll try it again next week though. We had a long talk about making sure we're looking for the right thing - as far as are we looking for somewhere to come and 'be served' or are we looking for somewhere we can serve. This church has definite opportunities to serve. To be honest, he feels pulled more there than I do, but I think I have my guard up a lot still, because I'm so tired of searching. I want somewhere I can just walk in and feel 'at home'...and maybe that's wrong - I'm looking for Faith Chapel, and it's not here. :( BUT, Philip pointed out that this reminds him in some ways of a young Faith Chapel, and reminded me that I didn't feel "at home" the first year or so we went to Faith Chapel either - that it has to become your home. SO, the saga continues.... but we might have potential here. AND the best part, if we do attend here, it is exactly 5 minutes from our house! That would be so convenient!! :)

On a good note, I really feel like Canton is starting to become 'home'. I feel so comfortable in our house, I have a couple of friends,... the transition is starting to ease and despite missing home terribly, God is giving me such a peace that this is home now. Thanks.

Birthday Week!!

Well, this week we have TWO birthdays! Christian turns 6 on Thursday and Ethan turns 3 on Sunday. Because I can laugh at myself, the picture above is me 3 or 4 days before I had Ethan. Can we say SWOLLEN and huge? :)

Trinity's birthday is coming up on the 30th, and I can't believe she will be ONE! I sadly realized that this will be the last "1st birthday" we have in our house!! Sad and happy.. I am content with my four crazy kids, but I do love that baby stage too!!

I have tried to remember this week that I am 'building cathedrals' and it seems to help my patience somedays as a mommy. We aren't doing anything big for the kids' birthdays this year, besides family stuff. I am taking cupcakes into Christian's class on Thursday, and I'm excited! It's my first time to do that 'cool mom' stuff in a real school... I can't believe my baby is turning 6!

I am also happy to report that I seem to have made two good friends! Shannon has 4 kids also, (but 3 girls and 1 boy!) and her son and Christian play baseball together. And Kristin lives down the street and has a boy and a girl. It's nice to have friends here finally to meet for playdates, talk to on the phone and text... Thank you God for answering that prayer!

Follow up to "The Saga"... The Invisible Mom

I got this forward in an email today... Thanks God, for the reminder that it's all good...



The Invisible Mother......

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'Obviously, not.
No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? & Can you open this?Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book.

And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte . I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.' At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.

It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.When I really think about it, I don't want my daughter to tell the friend she's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want her to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to her friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right...
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.


Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does. We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

The saga of a Stay at Home Mom

I need a 'catharsis' today, so blogging is it. I feel like, since we moved, and I have less friends here to hang with, get out less, etc... I feel like my role as 'the mom' has been bigger. Mostly because I get less breaks (I think). For some reason lately, I comprehend more completely, what I am sacrificing in order to stay home with my kids while they're little. And please know that it IS a sacrifice, but that despite what I'm writing - I do NOT regret it for a moment. I cannot Fathom having to drop all the 3 little ones off at daycare each morning and missing those first smiles, having breakfast with them, and all our daytime stuff. BUT, there are days when I realize that I have given up an entire segment of my life and of who I was, in order to be there for them. There are days when I'm jealous that Philip has colleagues at work, gets esteem because of where his career has gone, is held in high regard for it - not to mention he gets to go to the bathroom by himself! :) Please remember, I said "there are days". It's not everyday and I don't want to change it, but there are days when I miss that. I miss people asking you 'what do you do' and being impressed by the answer. When you say, "I stay at home with my kids", I think half of them instantly assume I have no college education and couldn't get a job if I wanted to... My education is so important to me. I plan on going back to school and back to work... and for right now, being a mom is the BEST job I could have because I truly believe it's what is best for my kids. BUT, that doesn't mean that there aren't days when I miss 'the other side'. I know the grass is always greener, blah blah... I've been on both sides (I worked full time until Michael was born, I remember dropping off Christian at daycare every morning and racing to pick him up after work), I KNOW that I have the best side of it right now. Sometimes I just miss 'me'. The driven, hard working, accomplishing 'me', the 'me' that had an identity besides a mom. Sometimes I feel like I am ultimately responsible for the wellbeing of four children and that feels HUGE. Suppose they turn out to be homicidal maniacs? I will be to blame! Granted, I don't really think that will happen, but it just feels 'heavy' some days to be responsible 24/7 for them and for trying to constantly do the best for them.

After having said all that, I know that this time is fleeting. I know I've been given a gift that our family can afford for me to stay with our kids, that I see Trinity first thing every morning and last thing every night... I'm rambling today, just needed to get some thoughts out. I love my kids, I treasure them, but man, sometimes they sure do make me tired!

Picture from a friend

Just wanted to add this picture! We had several friends and family visit Alexandra's grave yesterday for us.... Heather took this picture and sent it :).

The continuing "Search for a Church" and Alexandra

Well, today Alexandra would have turned 7. I can't fathom the idea of having a 7 year old daughter... having a daughter still feels relatively new to me, despite Trinity being almost a year old. I've had 6 years of having sons, but only a year of having a daughter... so the thought of brushing and fixing hair, painting nails, dolls... just can't quite get my brain around it still. As always, I also have this hard time getting my brain around the concept that if she were alive - I picture in my mind having all 5 of my children together. When in reality, if she had lived, chances are very likely, we wouldn't have Christian. I got pregnant with him 4 months after she died, and I doubt I would have purposely got pregnant that soon afterwards (though I know God controls all that), but chances are good that none of our children would have all come at the times they did... I guess one of those defining moments that TRULY changed our lives and shaped it forever. I mean think about it, if we had her, we probably wouldn't have Christian and then the ages would've been different to have Michael, so he probably wouldn't be who he is... and so on and so forth.

Anyways, I am still comforted having read "The Shack" and the peace it left me with. I still have the image in my head of God holding Alexandra, with her little blonde hair - caring for her, calling her beautiful.. an image and memory that is implanted in me and is as clear to me as the night God showed it to me. I look forward to the day when I see her in Heaven, when we embrace and she calls me Mommy... I look forward to Heaven and when I no longer have to miss her and ponder the impossible questions of destiny above. Some days, days like today, I yearn for it... to be done with the trials of this world, and spend an eternity in joy. BUT, I must remember to make the most of the time we have here.

Which brings me to today. We tried a new church today (that's coming), but as we were getting ready this morning, my son brought cheers of joy to my heart. Our neighbor boy, who is Christian's age, was standing outside our front window as we ate breakfast and got ready to leave. (mind you, at 8:15 am!)... He's the youngest of four kids, and quite honestly, from our observances'... he seems to get lost in the shuffle at times. Sweet kid, though he tends to ring my doorbell too early on Saturdays to see if my boys can come play. Anyways, I look over to see him looking through the open window today. He asks Christian "Can you come play?"
Christian: No, we're going to church today. It's Sunday
Jason: Hmm.. Why are you always going to church? (YA!! He realizes that we go often!)
Christian: Cause we want to learn more about Jesus!

Can a mother be more proud? :)

So, on to church. A friend reminded me while I was in KS, that Charles Stanley, as well as his son, Andy Stanley have churches in the Atlanta area. Having listened to Charles Stanley on the radio for years, we were thrilled. Googled the churches, to find that their churches seem a far driving distance for every week, but we found out that Andy Stanley has 'satellite' churches for his church... one of which is 10 minutes from our house! yA! So we find out times, locations, etc and off we go today for the 9:15 service, that meets in an elementary school.
Nice people.. get the kids checked into their stuff.. Go to the auditorium.. And we had another "rock band" worship (as we call them in our house now). Actually, before that, they are playing REM's "Bloody Sunday" as people are sitting down. Interesting, we think... REM in church. Not that I have anything against REM.. but for church? Two "Rock Band" songs later, the offering song is John Mayer's "Waiting for the world to change". Again, I like John Mayer, heck I like that song, but for me, it doesn't lead to me to God or worship... and then the lights go out, the two screens come up and we watch a video of Andy Stanley's sermon. GREAT sermon... LOVED his teaching, but not sure how I feel about being preached to through a video. :( He closed with prayer (on the video) and everyone left. That was it, there is no pastor, no pastoral staff.. nothing. To us, TOTAL lack of accountability (feel free to send me your input if you disagree), but we were totally disappointed. I want MORE! I want more worship, more accountability... MORE!! It's so frustrating. We questioned ourselves.. is it us? Are we missing something.. This search for a church STINKS!!! :(

Pick me ups!

Well, I've had some encouragement over the last day. When I was in KS last weekend, my friend Dave, sent me home with a book called "The Shack". Well, last night about 9, I started it... thinking I'd read for a few minutes before bed. Well, about midnight, I finally finished it and went to bed - I COULD NOT put it down!! Dave told me that it was one of the most amazing books ever, and I couldn't agree more wholeheartedly!!! It stretches the boundaries of my knowledge of who God is.. and I love it! It soooo takes Him out of the box, which I think He hates being put in anyways, and showed me so much of His heart. Warning, it does have a sad side to it (although you see the redemption of it), and it ministered so much to where I am at right now. It reminded me of the side of God I saw just after Alexandra's death, the Abba, the healer, the deep love He is. If you haven't read it, RUUUSH out to get it and read it.

I also did some 'coupon/bargain' therapy this morning. Laugh if you want, but it certainly does give you a 'high' to spend $27 on groceries and have your receipt show that you saved $115 with sales and coupons!!! That makes about $35 I spent at Publix this week, with a savings of over $250. My storage shelves are rapidly filling up again! I am delighted to say that I have landed smack dab in the middle of "Double coupon" heaven here! :) Publix and Kroger both double coupons, and Publix also has B1G1 sales every week... Just for example, from this week alone, I have 30+ boxes of fruit snacks, 20 bags of Chex Mix, 20 boxes of cake mix, 10 boxes of oatmeal, 10 boxes of cereal, 2 free gallons of milk, and 10 boxes of toaster strudels. That's not even all of it... but that kind of excitement does help me out of my funk! Apparently there ARE perks to Georgia! ;)

Ups and Downs

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. I had such a great weekend in Kansas, came home just on a high from getting to surprise and see everyone. Then I feel like I've been crashing ever since. :( I'm usually so stable, and I think that's what I hate - I don't like being up and down. I think it's like the freshness of moving and feeling homesick, all over again. Seeing everyone made me so excited, and then I came back to realize that I miss them all so much! I feel just so 'heavy' with burdens... our house in KS is still not leased (lease to purchase).. they have someone approved, but they don't have the money to put down yet, so we wait more. (Yes, the verse, "Take Heart and be strong and wait on the Lord" is running through my head) I feel like I "know" all the verses and such, but I'm just full of emotion today, not knowledge. As a female, somedays those are harder to seperate than others. We were doing so good paying off debt before we moved, and as soon as our house leases, we will be back on that track,... but in the meantime, I feel so stuck. Also, Alexandra's birthday is next week, and it's started getting cooler (especially at night) here, and I can start to 'smell' fall. Not sure if you know what I mean by "smelling" fall.. but ever since she was born, the smell of fall just overwhelms me with emotion.

I remember the days just following her birth and funeral... it was fall in KS, and we had the windows open all the time and there was just a 'smell' about the leaves changing, the cool air coming in.. as I sit here at my computer, I can close my eyes and still smell it. It was a time of such mourning, of digging my heels in to get through it, of learning so much of God and his steadfastness.... so every year for 7 years, fall just is Alexandra, it's memories, it's remembering. Maybe that's why I'm so emotional.. I'm remembering and though it's good, it's hard. I've been really good the last few years about allowing myself to have a period of well, mourning, each fall. A day or so (or however long it takes) of just 'being' in my sadness and my memories. I guess because I'm in a different place this year, because I can't carve out some time alone and drive to her grave, I can't seem to get past it as easily. Being able to visit her grave each year was so cathartic and I think I went there, cried and just let it all go... and I can't do that here. I intended to go there this weekend while in KS, and I just didn't . I was on such a high, and wasn't ready to 'be there'.... and now I regret it so much. Anyways, I'm rambling. I KNOW beyond a doubt how truly blessed I am. I know God has done nothing short of miracles in our life recently, but sometimes "knowing" things are different than "feeling" them. He made us emotional creatures, and for today, I "feel" things too strongly to be swayed by knowing them... But I don't want anyone to think that I don't realize those truths and see them everyday in my four children. I hug and kiss them each day, and thank God that, just as Job, He has blessed me doubly after all my sorrow.

Good Visit!

Well, for those that didn't see me, I made a surprise visit to Kansas this weekend, and OH how nice it was~! Only a couple of people knew I was coming (yep, surprise!), so that I could surprise my friend Heather and my sister in law, Tabby.. They both had their babies within the last couple of weeks, so I had to go see 'my babies". :) My new nephew, Shane, and my new-practically neice, :) Violet. OHHH, how cute! That's Violet on the left and Shane on the right. I was able to surprise both mommies, and Tabby even cried! :) It was worth all the scheming.

And I might say, both of those babies are JUST gorgeous. Just wish I got to see them more often! Trinity went with me (also her first flights!) and we just had so much fun seeing everyone. I've learned, since moving, the power of 'being known' as I call it. The feeling of happiness of getting a warm hug or smile from someone who knows and loves you... It's hard being new all the time, and having to introduce yourself, tell someone about yourself.. and all the things that people here don't know. I lived in KS since I was 18 years old, and my friends there not only knew my history, but they were PART of it. We share memories of being freshmen in college together, or of sharing our pregnancies together,... they've cried with me, I've cried with them... all that 'knowing each other'.. and it's really hard to not have anyone here who I really share that with. Always being the stranger in the crowd.. so to go home for a weekend, and see all my 'history people' - to be greeted with hugs and love, felt SOOOOO good. Like warm fuzzies all weekend. It was also sooooo good to be in our old church, and to walk in to somewhere that felt like home. To again, be familiar, to be known (and to be loved!).. I just can't describe how wonderful and invigorating it was. I think I feel like I can keep going for a while now.

When I got back last night, I told Philip that I had the oddest feeling now though.. that when I'm here, I call Kansas home. But when I was there, I found myself saying, "Well, at home we...". Both KS and GA are home now, and that feels so weird to have your heart in two places. My mother in law said that, as missionaries, that's the way they've felt almost their whole lives! Crazy! Either way, it was just wonderful to be there, and yet, it's good to be back here with my kids and Philip and our 'new life'.

One last note, Alexandra's birthday is next week on the 28th. If anyone in KS wants to pay her a visit around that time and leave a balloon or a flower.. I'm still struggling with not being there then. Jonathan and Tabetha have said they will for us, for which I am so appreciative.. Not a day goes by that I don't still think of her.

Modern Day Miracles!

I just heard from Philip, and Christian is out of surgery. Here's the amazing part. They went in to remove the mass, and IT WASN'T THERE ! The doctor came out to talk to Philip in recovery, and she was just dumbfounded. :) She can't figure out, for the life of her, how it was there on Tuesday and now it's gone. She apparently just kept saying, "It's a mass, they can't just go away on their own!" She couldn't figure it out, but we can !!! They still cauterized one side of his nose, which is something they could have done in the office.. so she kept apologizing, because she couldn't explain it!

God is good!

Showing us 'one more step' ...

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm27: 13-14

God showed me this verse back in 2001, right after Alexandra was born and we were trying to get pregnant again. I was so impatient to have another baby in my arms and felt so abused by life... and so I wrote in a notecard and taped it to our mirror. Well, I finally took that taped card down when we moved to Georgia. So after 7 years of reading it everyday, that verse is permanently ingrained in the minds of Philip and I.

As you know, even though we have a great peace about moving here, I am still often mystified as to 'why' God chose to uproot us from our family and friends. I trust Him, but I am such an analytical person that I always want to know why before I do something... and generally, in my experience, God works in precisely the opposite fashion. He says "Go" and doesn't tell you why until you're already there. This has been such a hard thing to learn. So, fast forward to yesterday.... actually, I have to give some background. Philip works for a contracting firm called CAS. (He works AT Cox Communications, but as a consultant for now). The consulting firm and Cox both know that within a year or so, he will convert to an employee.. but for a LOOONNG list of reasons, things are fine as is. Anyways, he has put into a Director position, and is hiring a team of employees to form his "quality assurance" team. The consulting firm, CAS, is basically made up of a bunch of guys who travel during the week (a few live here like Philip), and travel home on the weekends.... well, Philip has turned into a beacon of light amongst some guys who like to party it up like they're in college. Actually worse than college in many ways. :) SOOO.. fast forward to this week. Philip hires two employees last week.. a man and a woman.

To make a lloong story short, he talked with both of them yesterday at various times. They both knew that he would be out today and tomorrow for Christian's surgery. He talked with the woman, who said "Just want you to know that I'll be praying for your son". Philip says, "Thank you.. I believe in the power of prayer, so I appreciate that.". Well... 30 minutes later, the story comes out that this woman is a wonderful christian lady! Despite having many other job offers, God told her that THIS was the job for her and she actually waited a month for Philip to be able to offer the job to her, as well as taking a salary that wasn't the highest on her list in job offers.. Because GOD told her to. AMAZING. Philip also discovered that the man he hired is ALSO a wonderful man of God... So, amongst being in a 'den of lions' (as we call it), Philip is now surrounded by two employees who are Jesus loving, praying, people of God. If I believed in coincidence, well... But I DON'T! I believe our steps are orchestrated by God, and that He led us here. Maybe He led us to these two people, maybe He led them to us (as you might remember, we feel like we're in the middle of a desert, as far as Christians go)... but however He worked it, HE DEFINTELY worked it! :) I don't know if you've ever read the "Left Behind" series.. but I feel like it's kind of like in those books, where God led the people that needed each other the most to encounters, at just the precise moment they each needed it most. God is so good. I still understand all the why's and how's and such, but man, it's amazing to see him reveal it to us!

Christian should be going into surgery soon... Philip is with him and I'm home with the other kids... Will update!

Christian will be having surgery

Hey all, just wanted to update. We went to the Pediatric ENT this morning, in order to find out why Christian is having so many horrible nosebleeds. (Not sure if I mentioned, but between Sat and Sunday (36 hours) he had 6. That's the most we've had, but still, kind of alarming for a 5 year old. ANyways, she discovered today that he has a "pyogenic granuloma papilloma". Best I can find on the internet is that it's a overgrowth of tissue that forms. I'm still researching, but anyways, the only way to fix it is surgically. So he will go in on Thursday and have outpatient surgery for it, as well as cauterizing some blood vessels on the right side of his nose. Apparently it's growing rapidly and is the reason his nosebleeds have been so severe and frequent. They also mentioned that they have to send it off to pathology, which sent off red alarms, but the doctor assured me that these aren't malignant. I'm not sure why they start, but she seemed to think it was rather uncommon in kids so young. I'm anxious for his nosebleeds to stop, but poor little fellow - I don't think it will be too fun for him. If anyone knows anything about these, please let me know! Everything I find on the internet is a bunch of medical jumbo that I'm trying to figure out.
ADDED: I found this definition somewhere on the internet "Pyogenic granuloma is a benign, rapidly growing hemorrhagic lesion of unknown origin. ' Helpful, huh?
ADDED: I hope she doesn't mind, but my friend Amy (from college), who is now a doctor (you go girl!) sent me this information. " Pyogenic granulomas- Usually these start at the sight of an injury- so anything- a scratch in his nose, a spontaneous nose bleed that scabs - anyway, for whatever reason instead of healing right, the body starts over growing- and it's usally a bright red/bloody type of tissue. They won't heal unless you surgically remove (or if it's on the hand or soemthing a simple office procedure). I think , because of where it's at, he has to have surgery- but the hope is to get rid of it!!! I think the term papilloma that your doc used was because it looked finger like (papilloma is the term for skin tags- things that kind of hang down) I'm betting it's more of that shape so she tagged it on the end of the pyogenic granuloma term. " Thanks Amy.. that is way more clear than anything I've found!!!

Please keep him in your prayers this week. I know it's just outpatient surgery, but as a mom, you know you tend to worry anytime your child goes under... so add a prayer for mom and dad.
Times like this is when I go "OH why am I so far away from all our friends and family!" Because I am not sure of being able to find someone to stay with the other kids, I imagine one of us will have to stay with them and one of us go with Christian. It makes me again thankful for the support system we had in Kansas and DESPERATELY miss it. I had a list of a dozen people there I could have called, that would have stayed with the other kids, so we could both go... I guess again, God is showing us to rely on him and on each other.. but dang if it's not a hard lesson to learn.

Please also continue to pray about our house! I heard from the company that's managing it, and there is a family that is approved and that wants it, but is working on getting their $$ together.. so pray that happens quickly! We really want to take the whole family home in October, but we have alot of hesitance about the financial part of that if we're still paying two mortgages.. Maybe I should start playing the lottery. :):):)

My baby's getting so big!

OH, my baby is getting so big.. just wanted to share. She's learning to walk and push toys around... I just realized that she'll be ONE next month! Where does it go?

The Ups and the Downs

Well, we're making it through the long weekend with just me and the kids. It's been so hard being here, getting pictures via email and phone... but actually missing in person being able to see Shane. Stinks if you ask me... but I suppose if the road to obedience was easy, we'd follow it more often.

Anyways, I've a big "Up" in that, (as cheesy as this sounds), I think I found a new friend! Her son and Christian play on the same baseball team, and we have just hit it off! She also has four kids (although flip of us - 3 girls, 1 boy) and even though we've only been together 3x, it feels as though I've known her forever in some ways. I told Philip, after our second conversation at practice, that if you can talk about boob jobs, periods, birth control and more on only your 2nd conversation, I think you know you've found someone like minded!!!! :) We met on Friday morning and went shopping for stuff to make hairbows and such. I'm going to teach her how to make bows, pacifier clips and other stuff for all those girls in her house! I quickly discovered they are christians, and that they even visited some of the same churches we have! ANNNDD, to top it off, her husband's contracting company is the one that is lined up to do our new roof!! I actually met her Father in Law (didn't know it was him at the time), because her husband and FIL own the company.... Long story, but needless to say it's a small world and when God wants you to meet someone, He WILL make it happen! It has been such a pleasant surprise to meet her and find someone with whom I seem to get along so well... Each week here seems to be getting a little better!

AND, for our "downs".. please pray for Christian. If you don't know, he has struggled with nosebleeds for about 2+ years.. Well, since moving, they are much worse again. I took him to the dr on Thursday and we have an appointment with a pediatric ENT on Tuesday.. but he's had FIVE nosebleeds in the last 24 hours. I called the oncall doc.. who said I should still just wait til Tuesday, but it's just non-stop! It freaks him out quite often to see that much blood, and to be honest, I am SOOO tired of cleaning up blood (I think I found that I just might have a stomach for Labor and Delivery after all this!), and he's so tired of it too. I'm going to call tomorrow to see if we can move up the appointment to tomorrow, cause it's just out of control for a 5 year old. We've been up almost every night lately with a bloody nose, in the car, in the grocery store - everywhere! We *think* that they might need to cauterize something, which I haven't even told him because he would FREAK out.. but we just can't continue like this and we have tried EVERYTHING we've been told, to no avail. SO please pray for wisdom and for him!

Baby Shane!!

I have a new nephew! :) Shane Titus was born today at 7 lbs 6 oz, 19 inches and they said he is BLONDE! The concensus is that he looks a lot like Michael when he was born! :) Considering how dark headed and olive Dominic is, it seems crazy that he would be blonde like our kids! THe pic on the top is Shane and the pic on the bottom is Michael.. HMM.

I am SOOOO sad that I'm here and not there.. Philip is in KS and sending me pics like crazy.. But just not the same! I miss home!!

Congrats Aunt Tabby and Uncle Jonathan, I can't wait to hold him!! :)

The more I seek Him...the more I find Him

So I was sitting on my prayer couch today, reading the Bible. Let me just admit here, that since we've been here - I have spent a LOT of time praying (which is good), but not a lot of time reading scripture and my Bible. I tend to do that - I get focused on one aspect and drop another... So, since its a quiet, overcast day here, and the boys are watching a new movie, Trinity is sleeping - I felt God calling to me to spend some time learning ABOUT Him, not talking TO Him. (I am speaking to myself here!) Anyways, I found a flyer in my Bible that I have no idea where it came from.... (Hmm... Erin, think maybe it was GOD!?) :) It was on Key Apostolic Intercessory Prayer ... again, no idea where I got it from.
It sent me to Ephesians 1: 17 - 20. "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of Wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints and His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of His mighty strength, which He exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at His right hand in the heavenly realms." (Italix added by me). As I read this over and over today, it struck me - the SAME power that rose Jesus from the dead is the SAME power working in me. I don't know about you, but I've never come close to having enough power to raise someone from the dead (Physicians come close maybe)... Trust me, if I could have made someone raise from the dead, I would have done it when Alexandra died. I begged and pleaded with God to make her just suddenly gasp for air and do a miracle..... and as you know, nothing in my person made that happen. Yet, the power to do that is running through me.

It doesn't seem 'graspable' to me to find or have or use that power... yet God has clearly said He wants us to find Him and know Him well enough that we realize He is working through us with that same power. I don't know where I'm going with this, only that it seemed to knock me on my butt today. I know I desire the wisdom and the revelation that Paul is speaking about, as well as the knowledge of how GREAT, FANTASTIC and amazing the power of God is. I've been a christian for 14 years now, and I feel like I'm only scratching the surface of what I should know by this point.

Again, maybe God has drawn us here to Georgia, to draw us 'away' for a while, so that we can find a new side of him. I don't have friends calling for playdates everyday, I don't have our weekly women's bible study... so instead I'm having to rely on just God. Maybe that's the way He wanted it.... I have so much yet to learn, so far to go, but I'm so glad He hasn't given up on me yet. When God sent us here, He sent me this other verse, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37:7 ... If you know me, you know I don't sit still too often... but maybe that's why He sent us here!

Picture catch up....

Trinity spent the baseball game chewing on everything!!

THought I'd add some of our pictures from the last week.. That was Trinity in her stroller at Christian's game... The boys eating at our bar, on their new barstools.. (they think that's the coolest EVER), me and my two big boys :), and Christian 'ready for action'. :)

Well, Philip's mom was here for 3 days and just left this morning... and man does the house feel empty! :) We've had Nancy, my dad and Karen all here in succession over the last month and it's always so empty when the company leaves! I might just add that it was SO nice to spend some time with her and I am one of those women who are blessed with a MIL that I adore! Many women have a love/hate relationship with their mother in laws... but it's all love here! She's like having my own mom here and I'm so sad to see her go. Why can't everyone else just move to Atlanta too? :)

Well, Michael started preschool today. We found a great place called "Child's Play" and I think he is going to do great! He will go Tues, Thurs and Fridays.. and all day yesterday, he was upset because he was "ready to go!" I think he's done a lot of maturing in the last year - though he has a ways to go, but I'm really hoping this will get him ready for kindergarten next year. This school has an amazing curriculum! They teach them sight words and phonics, letter identification, ... a whole slew of stuff I can't even list out - but to sum it up, she said most of their 4 to 5 year olds are reading by the time they go to kindergarten! That would be amazing for Michael, who I'm not even sure can say his whole ABC's yet! :) It's a bit of a financial stretch for us, but I feel like for him, it's so important...

Please continue to pray that our house in KS gets leased soon! We need to stop paying 2 mortgages! :) We had a great service at church Sunday, and the pastor talked about God's light, and how He generally only shows us step "A", even though we want him to show us "A through Z" all at once !AMEN brother! :) I'm a natural born planner and I would love to still know why we're here and why all these steps fell into place to bring us here... but God wants to show me just the NEXT step, so that I can learn to trust Him more and more... Well, I'm working on it, but it sure isn't in my nature. This whole move though, is definitely an exercise in learning to trust and it reaffirmed to us that we're where we should be.. just don't know WHY yet! :)

FRIENDS!! :)

I just wanted to say that I think God is answering my prayers for a friend/friends. Yesterday, one of the neighbor gals (who we see at the bus stop every afternoon) invited me out to have dinner with her sometime soon, as well as just an open invitation to say hi, get coffee, talk, etc. She seems very genuine and nice and I am really excited to go out with just a gal pal soon!!!

Then I met another Mom at Christian's baseball game today. She also has four kids, her youngest is 8 mos and oldest is 8... opposites though - she has 3 girls and 1 boy! She loved Trinity's headband with the flower on it and her pacifier clip and we are going to get together this week, so I can show her how to do them. Again, she seemed so nice and we really hit it off today at baseball. Her oldest daughter is also named Trinity!! It's really nice to feel like maybe I'm starting to make some connections and have a couple of people I know well enough to at least call for a playdate, and such. Just after the longest night comes the brightest morning!

I also wanted to say that I've been researching nursing schools, and along with Laura's help (who is an RN), I'm figuring out what I would have to do. In order to become an RN, I actually just need to get an Associate's Degree. Well, the first year almost of that is core curriculum, which I already have!!! I think I could actually finish in a year or so!! I still have some research to do, but I'm really excited about this! It's so amazing to me how God just opens doors and shows you new things all the time! And man, is it good to know that He's in control - not me!

Fall, memories, leaving a child behind...

I've been hearing from friends in Kansas and Missouri that fall is on the way. :) It was still almost 90 degrees here yesterday in Georgia, and I find myself so homesick for home and for fall. I was flooded by memories yesterday of sleeping with our windows open in the fall, and waking up burrowed under the covers because it's 65 degrees in our bedroom... and the smell of fall. The leaves turning and the crispness in the air.... I can actually smell it right now, as though I were there. As much as I hated our house in KS and was ready to get out of it (by the way, please pray it gets rented), today my heart longs for it. You see, I had all my children in that house. 4 of the 5 were born in September and October, and the smell of fall reminds me of those times. I remember bringing them all home from the hospital to that house and placing them in the cradle beside my bed.. swaddling them a little tighter at night and putting little caps on their head, because of the cool, fall weather.

Fall has been a hard season to transition to for me, for the past 6 years. Alexandra was born and died on September 28 and her funeral was October 1st... and every year, as fall comes and those familiar smells swept into my bedroom, memories of her flooded me. Memories of feeling her kick and watching my belly move (and with all my babies) and of coming home from that hospital - empty handed. The days when Philip and I clung to each other for comfort, for hope.. and the days when we found hope... when we had Christian, Michael, Ethan and Trinity. I tend to have visited Alexandra more in the fall, because I just felt so close to her then.

As we prepared to move, I struggled with guilt about leaving her behind. I know I was only leaving her grave behind... but in a sense, I felt like I was leaving her behind. A mother should never have to do that. I know it's just her grave and her body, that her soul is resting in heaven with Jesus - better off than any of us here are.... but, I think you know what I mean. I struggle, because, this year on her birthday, I can't visit her grave. We can't take the kids there and take balloons. The last few years, we've gotten a birthday balloon for her and then let all the kids get one... sentimental and silly, but tradition. I won't be there this year. I can't go visit her grave, and talk to her, and tell her about her siblings... and it hurts me. I miss fall (which I know WILL come to Georgia, sooner or later).... I miss 'home' (and I know that this will slowly become our 'home' too). Transition is hard, harder some days than others. I'm so sentimental in the fall, and today especially. I will miss Old Settlers this weekend, miss walking around the rides and booths - the ones Philip and I went to when we were just dating... holding hands, young love... The booths I walked by at 8 and 9 months pregnant with my kids... sweaty, swollen and hot, but filled with excitement for the nearness of birth...

I am very content in our new home. I am so content with my house-full of children, with my handsome boys and our beautiful daughter... and I am sad to have left one of my children behind.

I am just thankful, that as a Christian, I have hope. I have hope that I will see her again, and that in the meantime, Jesus is holding her for me (as he told me one night, 7 years ago)... thank good ness for hope. Thank goodness for the changing of the seasons - for the reminder of where we are, where we've been, and hope for where we're going.

I must be crazy... for many reasons!

First off, I must be changing or crazy or desperate for adult conversation. :) Philip plays tennis on Wednesday nights, so I'm home with the kids those days from "dawn to dusk", as I call it. :) Tonight, my doorbell rang and lo and behold, there were three men at my door. Not scary men, but very nice men! They were from First Baptist Church, where we visited on Sunday. They were making a follow up call to just say hi, welcome to the church, etc... Now, it's been a VERRRY long time since I've had anyone from a church show up on my doorstep on a call like that. Years and years, I'd venture to say. And up until now, I would have considered those type of people oh..intrusive and a bother... How did I feel tonight? Positively thrilled! :) Thrilled to feel welcomed by other Christians, thrilled to have someone show up on my doorstep - JUST TO TALK TO ME... Yep, I think I'm certifiable. :) They invited us to their Sunday school class/care group for young couples, and I am so starved for friendships, that by golly, you don't have to invite me twice! :) Seriously, if you knew me when I lived in Kansas, you know what I'm saying... and that it's very 'not me'. But again, apparently God moved us to help teach me some lessons and stretch me (I seem to be seeing a theme here, people!)

I am probably also crazy, because as you saw in my last post, I am seriously contemplating my future. Why? I have no idea.. I think I have too much time on my hands right now. :) But, after a whopping two days of debating, I really do think I want to become a nurse!!!! Again, if you know me at all, I don't tend to sit on decisions and mull over them for very long. For better or worse, I tend to be a 'fly by the seat of my pants' kinda gal... Now, granted, I can't really rush into this one. I have four small children, three of whom aren't yet in school... and I am apparently lacking some required education!!! :) Yep, I'm thinking of going back to school! I've started checking around some schools/nursing schools in the area and their programs. Granted, I have a bachelor's already, which covers most of the prereqs, but I'm still missing chemistry and labs, as well as Anatomy and Physiology and labs... It will be interesting to see how/when this all works out. One of the schools I looked at had an accelerated program, which is 16 months long, but it's pretty much all day, 4 to 5 days a week for that time period.... So, I don't know. I would need to start slow, I'm not a rigid time schedule, so I"m hoping to find something I can do more, a little at a time - as well as maybe some on-line, etc.. I would love to be a Labor & Delivery nurse.. I just think it would be the most amazing thing to help deliver babies everyday. I mean, seriously - what is more awesome than seeing new lives born? I know there is obviously a little more 'blood and guts' to it all than that (I've given birth 5 times, I know a thing or two about the blood and guts!)... but I still just think it would be an amazing job to help be a part of that..... SO, please say a prayer as I try to figure out how to do something amazing, as well as the amazing job of raising our kids. There has to be a balance, and they have to be my priority for now, so lots of decisions to be made in the future.

Question of the Day: What would you do....?

As Christian has started kindergarten and I now have one of the kids in school all day, I've started to find myself pondering a new question. What would you do (career wise) if you were able to start over? No salary requirements, just picking a new job or career?

You see, within the next 3-5 years, I will have a really unique chance to start over in a job/career. We have moved away from Sprint, where I spent 5 years of my career in telecommunications. Not sure that's what I intended to do with my life, but it was a very good job and paid quite well.... I have a bachelors in pscyhology and an MBA.... and as my kids get into school full time, I plan to go back to work at least part-time. I would love to still be home about the time they are from school, etc.... but what in the world would I do with myself all day, once all of them are in school? So I've started to think ahead to "What do I want to do when I grow up?" I can't go back to the job I worked before (again, not sure I'd want to) and probably wouldn't even choose to go back to IT. I've owned my own business, which is now sold.... so what do I want to do with myself? Very difficult question! Salary really isn't the deciding factor, as with a lot of people - because we've already been living on Philip's salary for 4 years. So, I feel like in some ways, I'm fresh out of college again - what do I want to do with myself?

I'd love to go be a Labor & Delivery nurse... except, I don't want to go back to school to get an R.N. when I already have two degrees and enough college loans to last me for 20 years... Hmm... I really want to teach at the college level someday.. so I might explore some community colleges to start with, but I would probably need to go back and get my PhD...

Anyways, lots to think about? Got any suggestions? What would you do?

Georgia has some perks!

Well, you can see from the pictures that we rented a boat on Saturday for half a day at Lake Allatoona. It took us exactly 15 MINUTES to get from our house to the boat dock... I think I just found a HUGE perk to living where we do! We had SOOO much fun yesterday on the boat. We swam and fished and drove around... just relaxed and enjoyed having Grandpa here. Trinity was an angel and slept on the floor of the boat for an hour even. We caught a few little fish (which the boys had fun 'petting') and it was just all around fun. After living somewhere that you had to drive 2+ hours to camp and boat, etc.. it's amazing that this is literally minutes from our door! Obviously, we can't afford to rent a boat on a regular basis, but it sure will be fun for special occasions! It was probably the most fun day we've had since we moved, and I almost felt like it was 'home' in some ways.... We're getting there, a step at a time.

I think it helps that Grandpa is here this weekend too! It's feels much more like home having my dad here... so please add that to your prayer list. He can't move without a job, so we need a job for him ASAP! We have a full, finished basement - which is basically an apartment and it's just waiting for him! I think the Chinese have something right in that concept where their grandparents/parents live with them.

We also had a fantastic Sunday. We visited First Baptist Church of Woodstock, and although we've never been Baptist, it was a great service. For us, it's VERY large, ...I'd say thousands of people... so that would be a big change, but other than just getting used to the size, we felt very at home and really enjoyed the service. We missed part of the worship service getting the kids checked into childrens' church... (which they loved), but really we enjoyed it - and that feels REALLY good to say! I know we'll visit again next week and maybe even more.. It would really be different to attend somewhere that big, and we've always been rather "anti-megachurch", but you never know where God wants you.. so we'll see! But it was really nice to be somewhere that we did at least feel 'at home'. :)

Really, it's been a great weekend - and it's not over!

A blessing!!!

Okay, make that many blessings... the little girl in this picture is one! :) This was from today... sorry for the fuzziness, but she just doesn't hold still very long anymore! Trinity has learned to wave on command and clap, as well as calling the dog. HA! I am not kidding. She yells "Bahhh" (for Bear) and then makes a kissing noise. Quite hysterical. I'll have to try to get it in video. I don't know many 9.999 month olds who call their dog!

But, God was granting me some favor today and reminded me that we're not alone! :) After the below mentioned phone call from Christian's teacher (which by the way, he never had a good reason for having said his Dad died.... We chose to 'let that one go' and maybe when he's 18, he can explain it!), I was sending her a follow up email today. I had also gone through some of his school papers today and one of them was an "about me" from their teachers. His teacher, Mrs. Massengale, had put in her "favorite music" category that she liked contemporary Christian music. WHAT? :) So I grabbed on and held on for dear life. In my email to her, I mentioned that I really enjoyed getting to know more about her and that I thought, based on her comment about music, that we share similar beliefs. Lo and behold, there ARE some other Christian's in Georgia! (YES, I am using sarcasm! HA!) AND, (Hold on to your drawers), she invited us to try their church! Yippee! :)
I want to also mention that there are 7 or 9 (can't remember) kindergarten classes in Christian's school. Yep, you heard me right. And, of all those classes and teachers, Christian was placed in HER class. Thank you, God. :) I'm so very delighted to find out he has a wonderful teacher... and to have been invited to someone's church! I believe we will be going there this Sunday, so cross your fingers! On a less sarcastic note, I really was encouraged to have found someone (especially someone who has influence on my child and whom he sees 5 days a week) who is verbal about their faith and has invited us to their church!

Crazy days in GA

Well, the younger kids and I tried a new place today called "Java Jumps". It's the most fantastic idea ever!! It's a coffee shop that is half coffee shop and half blow-up jumping toys for kids. Did I mention it's the most novel concept?? You pay a small fee for your kids to jump and then you sit and drink your coffee while watching them. HELLO, I found my new favorite place! :) I might be exaggerating a little, but it is quite cool. Michael and Ethan had a chance to jump to their heart's content and I was able to sit with Trinity and chill out. It was very quiet there today and I met a lady who was there with her 4 year old granddaughter. We sat and chatted the whole hour and a half we were there... and let me just say how much I enjoyed conversation with a perfect stranger! Either I'm desperate for adult conversation or God is stretching me (or a little of both!). Her grandaughter was adopted from China, and we talked about kids and raising them and just a whole variety of things. Let me just say that in Kansas, I would have been on a playdate with a friend and probably wouldn't have felt the need to talk to a stranger... and yet, it was strangely refreshing. Again, very "Prayer of Jabez"-esque.... Moving to a place where I know no one, is teaching me to be more open and oh... what's the word - agreeable, maybe? After 13 years of living in the same area, I felt very comfortable with my group of friends and with who I was.... and now, God is definitely doing a work in me, about meeting new people, sharing myself and trying to learn more about them. I'm excited to see how God uses me and how I can be a better friend and a better 'person' to the people around me. It's not all that fun all the time, but it kind of feels good too. Very much like the soreness you get when you start working out after a long break. It hurts and it's sore, but it also feels good because you know you're doing something good for your body....

On an absolutely CRAZY note.. We got home from Java Jumps and Christian's teacher calls me. She asked if everything was alright at home... to which I replied yes. Apparently, Christian told an aide and his teacher that his Dad died last night! HELLO - YES, that his dad died! First off, GOD FORBID that happened, he certainly wouldn't be at school the next day!!!!!! Secondly, if for some absurd reason he WAS at school, I would have called his teacher the first thing and forewarned her. HOLY COW! I honestly cannot think of a single good reason he would say that (maybe he had a bad dream or something!), but you can be sure we'll be talking about it when he gets home!!! I'm not so much mad or upset, as I am completely mystified!!! I don't know if it's an attempt to get attention because of all the changes or what, but HELLO!!!! Philip got him dressed and on the school bus this morning, so he was as alive as could be! I should probably write this one down somewhere, cause its one for the books!

Attitude adjustment.

After a week of praying, "God, send me a friend"...."God tell me why we had to move"... etc, etc. (Think, whining Isrealite!), I've decided to change my perspective. I gave myself an attitude adjustment this week and in the "Prayer of Jabez" mindset (great reading for anyone who's never read it), I'm trying to start praying instead "God, send me to be a friend to someone who needs it". "God, show me ways to make the best of living here", "God, use me in someway to be a light in the middle of this area". I say all that because it's been somewhat of a culture shock. I guess I never realized that we really did live in the middle of the Bible Belt in the midwest. There were christian people everywhere we went.... and now I feel like I live in the middle of a dry desert. I honest to goodness don't know that I've met one single person who I can identify as a christian, outside of the two families we already knew when we moved here. I know there were christian people in the churches we visited (but, heck, it would be pretty sad if you went to church and there wasn't!).... I'm talking about all the neighbors we've met, people at the stores, ANYWHERE! We constantly talk about "When we went to church Sunday" or "We're looking for churches to visit"... In Kansas, people would've usually struck up a conversation about "Oh, we go here, or we have friends who love this church.". Honest to goodness, people here look at me like I'm from another planet when I talk about going to church. It's a really hard thing and a really good thing. Nothing like reaffirming what you believe and why when you're the only one who believes it! :) I still believe God has 'Drawn up apart to draw us close and to draw us together'... But after 3 1/2 weeks of spending all day with 2 toddlers and a baby, a girlfriend would be nice! :)

I keep thinking that when we find a church, it will be different and we'll make friends there. We probably will, and I hope we will....but it may be a few months before we find the church that feels like home. So, in the meantime, I might need to broaden my horizens and find a mommy group or something... instead of waiting for people to reach out to me, maybe I need to reach out to them. How will they ever know that I AM a christian if I don't live it out? So, for anyone out there that's still praying for us, please also change your prayers. Pray for me to find someone who needs me to be their friend and that we find the people around us who need us to be their light......

Recommendations ???

After almost 5+ years, my digital camera has it's last foot out the door. :( Hence, the lack of cool pictures to share with everyone lately. So.... for less than $100 or so dollars, does anyone have any good suggestions for a digital camera? I haven't had to buy one for years, so I"m out of touch with the new offerings.

Well, I've been calling around to gyms here in the area, and have it narrowed down to the YMCA (more expensive, but possibly more to offer) and another club called Fitness 19. It's cheaper, by quite a bit, but I'm going to look at it tomorrow and see what the childcare is like. The lady on the phone sounded shocked that I would always have at least 3 kids with me (if not all 4)... so not sure if that's a good sign or not. I haven't ran or worked out in probably 6-8 weeks now and I MISS it sooo much. I figure since I have so much more time on my hands, its' a good outlet for something to do for me. So hopefully I'll get it figured out and get my booty back in shape!

I feel really emotional this week. Like, I cry at the drop of a hat... at commercials, stupid stuff. I know I'm not pregnant (Thank goodness!), so I think it just must be stress or 'decompression'... I hate feeling so out of control of my emotions! :) Another good reason I need to workout again and get myself back into order.

On a side not... Trinity is at the most delightful age... she just crawls everywhere and follows us through the house... She's starting to say more words and I've taught her the sign for "all done".. It's still amazing to me that I have a daughter! A little girl! I'm just in love!

Prayer for a friend

If you think of us, please continue to pray for us, as we adjust. Again, to find a church family. But today and last night (at my prayer couch), my new prayer is that God would bring me a friend. Gee, that sounds pitiful, but it's honest. I have and will always have the amazing friendships that God formed in Kansas City and Olathe, but I'm feeling very lonely here this week. It's odd not having someone to call for a playdate or to meet for coffee... It's been some really good time for me with Michael and Ethan, since Christian is at school. We've shared some good conversations (yes with a 2 and 4 year old), and again I know God has drawn us apart to draw us together, and to Him.... but I need an adult friend too. I miss my girlfriends. Philip is truly my best friend, but I need a girlfriend too. I know it takes time to find those and that I need to put myself out there... but if you say a prayer for me, I'd really like a girlfriend here.

Another 'techy' nightmare

Well, after being knocked off-line for a couple of days, I think I'm back up and running! I kid you not, I've never had such a run of technological issues.. :( ALL our internet, cable and digital phone went out on Tuesday and it's a super long story, but it took twenty million phone calls and two days to get it back up. NOT a happy camper. My cell phone continues to only work on whichever days and hours it decides... so I spent another long list of hours on the phone trying to get it fixed, as well as a trip to a repair center with THREE kids.... until I finally called insurance this morning and I'm just gonna pay my $50 deductible and have them send me a brand new one. :( Apparently my phone thinks I'm still in KS, even though I have a GA number, address and everything else and nothing that is easy to fix can apparently tell it otherwise. So hopefully, in a few days a nice happy new phone will show up and WORK.

In the meantime, we've had Bear off to the vet to get neutered and Trinity to the doctor. Poor girl is still fighting a double ear infection, which explains why she's up twice a night and clingy as can be!

CROSSING my fingers, but no one has thrown in our house in over 5 days. YIPPEE... let's hope that continues! :)

Homesick Sundays

Well we tried another new church today called Revolution. EXtreme opposite of last Sunday. The church meets in a movie theater, and they have 2 services.. we went to the 10.30 am service and there were still probably 300 people there. First off, kind of put me off to start with because as we're checking in the boys to their classes for church, the lady asked me how old Trinity was. I said 9 1/2 months and she said, "Well, let's sign her in".. I told her that I would prefer to just keep her with me because it's been a rough transition for her., etc... I was informed that they do not permit babies over 3 months in the service - EVER. Did I mention EVER? Maybe I'm kind of old school, but as a first time visitor, the choice seems like it should be mine whether I put my 9 month old in the nursery. :( I did put her in the nursery, and she seemed to be fine, but for the liberal church they are, I was rather suprised by that. I also found out that once we got into service, there is a 'special section' near the door where you can sit if you DO have a baby under 3 months with you.. and that is the ONLY section you may sit with your baby. Hmmm... I understand wanting minimal distractions, but come on people!

Anyways, onto church itself. It was very, very loud. :) Kinda felt like I was at a rock concert, although God's spirit was definitely there. Very odd for me, though. The pastor was a young guy, about our age... who was wearing holey jeans, a tshirt and tennis shoes. :) Not exactly an Assemblies church - I can tell you for sure! :) He was a very dynamic speaker and had a great sermon in a series about "If you had 30 days to live". It honestly brought me to tears at the end, and I would actually love to hear the 3rd sermon in the series - if I can get past all the rules. Very odd combination for me - VERY liberal church with lots of young people and tons of 'unchurched'.. great speaker and very modern music... but definitely still not what we're used to. (Though let me just add, it was a great service despite any complaints I might have. God's spirit was very present and we were indeed spoken to... ) And again, made me very, very homesick. So much so, that I could hardly catch my breath at the end of service because I missed home and Faith Chapel so much. I guess the hardest part of this is constantly feeling/being 'the new kid'. I haven't had to be that person for a long time, and maybe that's one thing God is trying to teach us in all that - how to be stretched beyond our comfort zone and to have more empathy for the new person in the crowd... but it's hard when we're the new ones in the neighborhood, in churches, at schools.. to not have anywhere where you walk in and just feel at home. :( We were so well established in Olathe, that honestly we felt very at home and loved in our neighborhood, our church, our dentist office, our doctor's office... everywhere. People had known us for years and had known our kids since the day they were born, seen them grow, loved them.... friends who were more like family to us than just friends.

I still have an overwhelming peace of God's presence and direction that this is where we're meant to be... but man, I sure do miss home. I long to walk into a church and go 'Ah... this feels like home." I know, in a big city like Atlanta, that God has a church home for us and I yearn to find it.

As I was thinking on this today, another thought struck me.. a reminder.... that we are indeed "foreigners in a strange land" here on Earth. Heaven is our home and maybe I needed a not-so-gentle reminder of that... that I long for a church home here, but we are also to be yearning for our Heavenly home. God wants more than anything to welcome us home there too.... and wants us to be as homesick for Him and for Heaven as I am for Kansas and Faith Chapel. Maybe He has more lessons for me in all this than I care to admit. Moving out of your comfort zone sure has opened my eyes to several things.

Weekends...

Before I start on anything else..... we had yet one more round of the flu!! Christian threw up again Thursday night and we had our first 'carpet casualty'. SO funny and sooo not. We had pizza for dinner and have very light colored carpet. Need I say more than that? :) I had to rent a rug doctor yesterday to try to get the rest out. Most of it did, but I think there is a shadow of a reminder there to mark our first weeks in a new house. Then, finally it was my turn. Friday I felt horrible all day. I, remarkably, never did throw up, but the time Philip got home that evening from work, I had the cold shivers and my whole body ached liked crazy. I am blessed to say that he sent me upstairs to bed and took care of the kids the rest of the night. I pulled all the curtains closed, turned off the lights, turned on the olympics (thinking I would just rest in the quiet and watch them) and I am bewildered to say that I remember almost nothing past 7 pm! Holy cow, batman! I slept most the way from 7 pm to 7:30 am. I honest to goodness can't remember the last time I got that much sleep in one setting!!! I also don't remember feeling that crummy for a long time, but still!!! I guess there is one perk to getting sick (at least if you have a good husband) - you might get to catch up on some LONG needed sleep!

Well, we have officially been in our house, and in Georgia, for 2 weeks now. I think we are all 'settled in' for the most part. All the boxes are unpacked, except for in the office... which just always seems to get put at the bottom of the list. Christian had his assessment for baseball today and let me just tell you - these folks take their baseball VERY seriously!!! For all of you in Kansas... let me just say, you've never seen anything like this at the YMCA! He's on the 6 year old team and he did his assessment in front of about 15 coaches and scouts today, so that they can all do their draft for the season. DRAFT, people, DRAFT... for 6 year old baseball! Christian showed up in his shorts, tshirt, tennis shoes... with his glove. A majority of the kids were there in full uniform, cleats and have not only their own glove, but their own metal bat and hitting hard-hat. DANG, people! Apparently we will be purchasing a hat and bat before the season starts! :) Thankfully, Christian adores baseball and is very excited about it, I just hope we can keep him from taking himself too seriously. After all, this is still Little League!

We really enjoyed our day as a family today. Philip did yard work, I did grocery shopping, we sat down and had dinner as a family... nothing too exciting, but it was a weekend as a family. To me, I think it's so important. I think it's another part of God "drawing us apart to draw us together". Even though it's so hard being away from our family and friends, it's so bonding to be together as a family each night.. sit around the dinner table and have dinner together. Honestly, it's very much what I always envisioned for my family.... We are still a work in progress, but we are indeed working to get there.!