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I don't have a title for this... I feel like my brain is in a thousand places at once, and am having a hard time focusing on one idea! I am so 'up' in some ways.... I feel so blessed here. I am developing good friendships, happy with our church, get to start in a women's bible study this week, love putting my kids to bed at night and talking about their day, sitting at the dinner table and laughing with them all - things, in many ways, are SO good. Good, because I truly believe that we are in a place where God led us. Good, because despite a hard road to getting here, I am so content with my four kids on earth and how unique they each are. Good, because I have a husband who is my best friend and whom I couldn't get through a day without. Good, because it's an amazingly peaceful feeling to rest in God and his knowledge, his will, his care, his hand...

Philip and the kids and I went to dinner tonight (thanks to the gift card we had received for Christmas)... and it was so nice. Nice to just sit at the table with my husband and my kids, laughing, being silly, sharing a dessert... The kids are getting old enough to have conversation with us (mind you, crazy conversation). But it's just NICE. I'm so happy that we're all together, that everyone is healthy, that my children are growing up with two parents who love them. We are so truly blessed.

Having said all that, I want to share that our family is also going through an incredible test of faith. I don't really want to share the details on the world wide web, but needless to say, many of the things that we assumed were established and givens about our future here are, well, unsure. Again, not up for sharing it all via the web, but it is truly crazy and truly difficult. AND YET, as was reaffirmed to us in church this morning, what a wonderful peace to know that we are where God wants us. We all make mistakes, we all sin, we all fall short - but WOW, the knowledge that we are God's children and that no matter what, we are in relationship with him. We are sons and daughters, and no matter what mistakes we make, we will always be his sons and daughters if we have accepted his salvation. (This part is all taken from today's sermon)..... :) We can alter the fellowship we have with him by our actions, but none of those actions can affect the relationship, any more than we can stop being a son or daughter to one of our earthly parents. No matter our actions, we will always be related to them... and the same is true of our God. Once you become his son or daughter, nothing you do can affect that. WOW. How 'bout those cookies??? So anyways, despite the trials we are going through and how we may have gotten there, there is such a peace in resting in God.

Well, I feel like I just verbally "puked". HA! Not sure if you got anything out of all of that, but I think I certainly feel better!