Absences

Well, I said I was going to stay diligent about blogging.. and yet, I find myself with big absences again. Partially that's 'busyness' and partially choice. I've realized something about myself, ... that when I am walking 'thru' something in our lives, I tend to withdraw. I want to chew on it, work it out in my head and my heart - and THEN I'll tell you about it. Hence, the absence. We've been dealing with situations with Philip's job and more than that, the spiritual warfare about it - and so I've been trying to wade thru it all... I think we are in that period that comes just before the sunrise, so we're seeing the end in sights, but still can't quite touch it. He's been verbally offered a new job within Cox, but we're waiting on some transcripts from Baker University, etc.... In reality, the situation is so much more complex, but I still don't feel like sharing most of the details in cyberworld. :)

On another note, I have been attending a bible study here with other women called, "Writing your Spiritual Autobiography." When I joined the study, I didn't even really care what we were studying, I just wanted to be part of one. I wanted to get to know other women on a deeper level and start feeling involved. Well, be careful what you sign up for! :) It's been soooo good to get to know these women and learn from them, but man ... writing your spiritual autobiography sure does involve a lot of introspection! It's really good, and really hard. It basically requires you to visit your life and trace the handprints of God in that journey. It's eye opening and yet warming... Hard to visit those times when you realize that YOU were the one that walked away... and yet so great to see how God can turn our decisions into good, if we allow Him.
Partially though, the hardest part for me, is opening myself up to 'being known' by a new group of women. Again, part of this journey that God put us on when we moved. Forcing me to re-open myself, my wounds, my hopes... to new people. Something that, I have to admit, I'm not very good at. Yet, to be women of God, and to allow our hurts to help others, we have to admit those hurts to them. I'm glad to know God is using me and changing me, but it's not always an easy process!!!